Don't Go - The Blue Grotto

In this series I tell you places to avoid based on my own experiences. They're over-rated, they're tourist traps and they're a waste of time. Do yourself a favor and learn from my mistakes, don't go!

La Grotta Azzurra, a name so alluring. Who wouldn't want to enter this mysterious cavern and see its crystal blue waters? You, I hope, after reading this. The Blue Grotto is by far the biggest tourist trap, and biggest racket, I have ever experienced in travel.

Is this how you want to spend your island vacation?

Here's the process: first you wait in line for a boat. This goes by rather quickly and you think, "oh, that wasn't bad, we'll be at the Blue Grotto in no time." Then you arrive and see about 25 other boats packed with people waiting in front of you. And in front of them, is a line of people coming from land going down the stairs. All of those people are getting in the Blue Grotto before you. Our wait was about two hours in total. One hour was in the hot sun with the boat shut off, rocking up and down on the waves. People were getting sick. Our driver was nice enough to move us into the shade, but then other boats came and did the same thing. So then we were all crammed against the rock, inhaling boat engine fumes for an hour. It was nauseating. 

Or this? My Mom and our hot Caprese tour guide.

When it's finally your turn to go into the Blue Grotto, you have to get on a smaller rowboat to make it through the tiny entryway. But the first boat ticket you bought doesn't cover that, so you have to pay for a second boat ticket. Plus admission to the Blue Grotto. Plus tax. Plus tip. After all that, they bring you inside for seriously about 1 minute. Just enough time to take a couple of pictures and turn around. It's crowded and loud in there too. And the kicker is, it's so dark inside you can barely see anything! The blue water will show up in photographs if you use an extended flash, but you won't see it with your own eyes. If you want to experience clear blue water for a fraction of the price, install 2000 flushes and take a picture of your toilet bowl. Your time is much better spent taking a private boat tour around the Faraglioni (above). As you can see, the scenery is gorgeous, and the Faraglioni aren't bad either. 

Leaning Tower of Prosciutto

There are many wonderful reasons that people flock to Capri, but the crowds can make you feel like you're in Disneyland, not a blissful Italian island. One way to escape the bustle and capture the island's true essence is to spend time in Anacapri ("above Capri"). You'll enjoy sweeping views from the Marina Grande all the way out to Vesuvius, and have plenty of peace, quiet and space all to yourself. You might even happen upon a local wedding reception featuring a mind-blowing culinary and architectural wonder.

High up in Anacapri, on Viale Tommaso De Tommasi, you are faced with a decision. You can either take the bus down to the Blue Grotto for hours of hell, or step into the unassuming Trattoria Al Nido D'oro, and taste heaven.

Crazy for Caprese, Anacapri